


Dragged You Down Below

by t_rickster



Series: Sabriel Week 2019 [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Sleepy Cuddles, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 03:57:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19418002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_rickster/pseuds/t_rickster
Summary: Sometimes Gabriel still has nightmares about it. Sometimes it's like he's really back there.Sam's there to help ground him.





	Dragged You Down Below

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Avenged Sevenfold's _Nightmare_.

They always start out the same. The cage. Gabriel sits crushed in on himself, his vessel feeling as much of a prison as the bars that confine him.

The clunk of his boots are the first thing he hears, and it’s enough for every bone in Gabriel’s body to tighten, his stomach swooping with a sickly feeling that he’s grown far too familiar to.

Then comes the drawl.

“Don’t shrivel away from me, boy. You know better than that by now.”

He’d open his mouth to protest, but he lost the use of that a long time ago. Asmodeus had grown tired of his backtalk early on in his captivity. Now all he can do is shake his head and bury his head in his arms, clinging tightly to his legs.

There’s a loud clanging sound, and the gate to his cage swings open. He doesn’t even consider attempting to flee anymore. Asmodeus would only punish him, and no matter how long he’s had Gabriel locked in here, he still has a tendency to get creative. His last escape attempt had been met with his body being doused with holy oil and set alight. He’d lost track of how long he’d been burning for, but by the time he was done, the room had been tainted with the bitter stench of burning flesh and Gabriel’s vessel was hardly recognisable.

(Of course, Asmodeus fixed that fast. Liked to look at his “pretty” face.)

He swallows his pride and crawls out, keeping his eyes fixed to the floor.

He doesn’t stand. He doesn’t get to stand. Asmodeus prefers him on his knees.

“Thought we could have some fun today, boy,” says Asmodeus, and Gabriel swallows around the lump in his throat. Fun for Asmodeus comes in many forms. The only thing that’s certain is that it’s never fun for Gabriel.

“Look at me.”

A brief second of hesitation is all it takes, and he can practically feel the air in the room change around him - a prickle of fury that makes his shoulders tense and his stomach clench all at once.

“I said. Look.”

The voice. It’s different, and it’s familiar. And Gabriel knows who it belongs to, just as he knows that Asmodeus has changed his face to screw with him again.

 _Not him_ , Gabriel thinks. _Not again_.

“Gabriel.”

It’s softer now, and Gabriel’s barely aware of his muffled screaming, his body shaking with terror.

_Not him. Please. Anyone but him._

His heart pounds in his chest rapidly, the heavy thud loud in his ears, and then there’s a hand on his shoulder and he screams. He jerks away, and then he’s falling, falling, falling, and with a thump, he’s on the floor, bedsheets twisted around his limbs and concerned eyes looking down at him from the mattress.

“Gabe?”

“Don’t. Not him,” his voice sounds desperate now - except, when did he have a voice? How is he able to talk? He touches his lips with his hand, and it’s… bleeding. But not stitched.

Another nightmare, he realises.

There’s a brief flurry of movement and then Sam’s at his side, crouching down beside him like Gabriel’s a frightened woodland creature - and fuck, could he be any more pathetic right now? He’s an Archangel of the Lord. A force of divinity and light and fury.

And this is what he’s reduced to. A wreck.

Except Sam’s never judged him for it. Sam, with his kind, gentle soul and his big beautiful heart and his stupid yet brave tendency to forgive Gabriel for anything.

“Can I—” Sam starts, uncertain. His hand hovers in the air, between himself and Gabriel, and Gabriel gives a stiff nod in spite of himself.

Sam looks relieved. There’s a gentle yet firm grip on his shoulder, and Sam’s looking at him with that look that wrenches his heart and brings a flutter to his stomach at the same time - all wide eyes and pleading, as though he’s scared that Gabriel’s going to shatter at any moment.

Which makes him feel all kinds of pathetic.

“Can you stand up? You wanna move back to the bed?”

Another nod, and Sam helps to haul him up as Gabriel crawls onto the mattress. Sam gathers the sheets, the mattress dipping below him as he joins at Gabriel’s side, pulling the covers back over them and wrapping his arms around Gabriel, immediately surrounding him with warmth.

Gabriel goes willingly, letting out a shaky breath against Sam’s collarbone as fingers trace up and down his back, light and calming. His eyes are heavy, and Sam looks like he’s barely slept a wink. Probably hasn’t. Sam’s good at making sure that other people are taken care of, but he tends to neglect taking care of himself.

“You wanna talk about it?” Sam asks.

Every time, Sam asks. Every time, Gabriel refuses. It’s still too recent, too raw - and far too humiliating. So he just replies, “Nah. It was just a nightmare.”

Sam lets out a sigh like it was exactly what he suspected, but he’s disappointed nonetheless.

“You know, after Hell - after I got my soul back - I kept seeing him. Lucifer. It was like he was right here - as real and solid as you, right now.”

Gabriel frowns, pressing closer, his own fingers skimming over Sam’s waist, and Sam lets out a pleased hum.

“But the nightmares. Oh, man. They were somethin’ else. Like I was back in the Cage. It was like being tortured all over again.”

He knows what Sam’s trying to do here. Trying to make him talk by talking about his own experiences. Gabriel would feel insulted, except that he knows that Sam’s just trying to help. But it doesn’t help that Sam got tortured too. It doesn’t help that everything Asmodeus did to him, his brother did to Sam and then some.

But it brings him a little comfort that he’s not alone, and that’s a little fucked up, but something settles inside him.

“It’s like… I never left,” Gabriel starts, his throat raw. Sam’s fingers still, as though he didn’t expect Gabriel to start talking, but when Gabriel lets out an unhappy whine that sounds far too much like a petulant child, Sam chuckles and starts again, working magic on his back with the pads of his fingers.

“Yeah?”

“Like… my rescue was just another illusion. Like it was a test of his loyalty.”

Gabriel shudders and Sam hums in acknowledgment, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Sometimes I can still feel his hands on me,” Gabriel admits, his voice little more than a whisper now. “And I can’t— I can’t stop him. I can’t stop the nightmares. I can’t even keep myself awake.”

“Sometimes people need to rest,” Sam says. “Even archangels.”

“Shouldn’t need to sleep,” Gabriel mumbles, but even as he says it, he can feel himself drifting again, but he doesn’t want to sleep. Doesn’t want to be back there again.

“Yeah, well. You’ve been through a lot, Gabe. You gotta recharge.”

And there it is. Useless. Pathetic. He shouldn’t be the one cowering like this in the arms of a human, needing to be told that everything’s going to be okay - needing to feel a touch that isn’t cruel and malicious.

Or maybe he just needs Sam.

“You’re not weak, you know,” Sam says as if he can read Gabriel’s mind.

Gabriel snorts. “An archangel without mojo. Not exactly top of my game here, Sammo.”

“Right. But traumatic experiences… you don’t just walk away from them scar-free. They’re always there. Sometimes you need help from other people, and that’s fine too.”

“I’m not people,” Gabriel reminds him.

Sam huffs out a chuckle. “So that makes you impenetrable?”

“It should.”

“That’s bullshit,” Sam says. “You might be able to create whole pocket universes and stick people in time loops, but you have feelings like the rest of us, that doesn’t make you weak, it just makes you… well, more human than you like to let on.”

Silence stretches out between them, and the only thing that breaks it is the rustling of bedsheets as Gabriel shuffles so that his arm is wound around Sam’s stomach and his leg is hooked over him.

They still haven’t been intimate since Gabriel’s return, but he’s working on it. Until then, Gabriel can still soak up the comfort and warmth of his body, and Sam doesn’t seem to mind.

“’m tired,” Gabriel mumbles in lieu of an answer.

Lips press to his forehead, and his heart quickens in pace for a few seconds.

“Then sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”

And suddenly sleeping doesn’t feel like such a bad thing. He lets himself drift, feeling safe and warm, his body pressed against Sam.

The nightmares don’t return that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me at [archangelt-rickster](https://archangelt-rickster.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.


End file.
